Daily Mantras and Such

Older generations, quite unmindfully brand young people as socially irresponsible—it’s their favorite pastime to mull over the bygone glory days when the student body/youth in Bangladesh were socially more responsible. It is somewhat true that the youth loved taking charge in less complicated eras e.g. when somebody in the neighborhood fell ill, it was common for the next door youngster to rush her/him to the hospital. It would always be the band of young people who’d run the errands or do the chores whenever there was any kind of occasion in the neighborhood, be it a funeral or a wedding.

There has been a significant decline in social responsibility in the youth but it would be quite unfair to blame young people alone for this slump. A group of 20-somethings feel that the 21st century mindset and all the subtle and gradual changes that took place since the 90’s (starting from the way houses/apartments are designed to the education curricula) are mostly responsible for this downtrend. The new and transformed landscape (pigeon-hole apartments with no yards, gardens or parks keep people indoors most of the time) don’t bolster that kind of a communal feeling anymore. There is simply no space where people/neighbors can bond. Needless to say that the stringent academic curricula of schools and universities, the scramble for jobs, the rat race and hum drum of everyday life wear the youth down—make them too busy and too self-absorbed to think about social responsibilities. Researchers say a more highly competitive world has forced young people to become more individualistic. They care less about things that don't affect them directly.

I have a slightly different take on the issue which I will elaborate with personal anecdotes.

This girl sitting next to me at a wedding the other day was telling me that she along with a group of university friends turned vegan a few months back. She says it is not easy being a vegan in a country where meat, milk, eggs etc make up people’s everyday meals. But, the vegan diet she thinks can only validate her undying love and respect for all sentient beings. She politely refused the wedding food and told me that online vegan groups, workshops, vegan facebook friends from all over the world are a huge support and help with vegan information and recipes. Then there was this university club/group I ran into last week who were out on the streets raising awareness on recycling and going green, a movement they feel is vital for Bangladesh’s development. And my teenage cousin (19 years old), I heard just came back from Aatigram, Manikganj where she teaches English to preschoolers, a voluntary job she finds rewarding in more ways than one. And of course who can forget the numerous facebook groups, online student websites etc who came together in times of crisis— after the sidr, Aila, fire at Old Dhaka etc and tried to help in every other way—sometimes by raising relief and at times by talking to the victims, listening to their stories and helping them cope with the trauma.

The 20 something generation may be less radical than their predecessors who, say, took part in the1971 war or the 1952 language movement and became flashpoints for their times. But thanks in large part to the Internet, this generation is much more aware of the world. And because historical tragedies such as the 9/11 terrorist attack and Hurricane Katrina have scarred their youth and adolescence, experts see signs these young people are creating their own brand of social consciousness.

Social network users feel that the emergence of web blogs, Facebook awareness pages, donation websites/SMSs, online petitions etc changed the ways one would express political views, volunteer in community work and be socially responsible.
Yet, Curtis Gans of American University's Center for the Study of the American Electorate says that measurable declines in civic education, newspaper reading and knowledge of current events are other signs of a devaluing of civic involvement. Harvard public policy professor Robert Putnam, whose 2000 book Bowling Alone is about the decline of civic engagement and social connection, says volunteering is class-driven. "This whole recent spurt is largely concentrated among kids of the upper middle class. ... The have-nots are actually more detached than before. “Thus the very term ‘social responsibility’, is debatable in this age and time.

On the other hand, the role of the media must not be underestimated in its positive and negative influences on the youth. Advertising agencies, corporations and manufacturers all seek youth attention. The youth are the target audience/consumers of most producers. Even though satellite, cable TV, news paper, magazines, websites etc bring a plethora of news— it is of little wonder that young people choose to watch music channels, read sports news and visit celebrity websites instead—as these sources cater to all their entertainment needs and are designed keeping them/ their needs in mind. Hence, if mainstream youth culture is indeed irresponsible is it because they just happen to be that way or because they are given a choice between esoteric social responsibility and ceaseless, adrenaline gushing entertainment?

"Dhaka, Oct 1 (bdnews24.com): “The government has started working on a detailed data bank for people aged over 50. Quamrunnessa Khanam, secretary for the social welfare ministry, said on Thursday the World Bank will fund the scheme, and officials have started doing the groundwork for the study. Khanam said the government would also build one house for elderly persons in each division."


According to the United Nations, an influx of senior citizens is seen in Bangladesh in recent years owing to a decrease in fertility rates and improvement in life expectancy. In the last two decades Bangladesh has experienced two major demographic changes: the rapid population growth in urban areas and the demographic transition having lower fertility and higher longevity.


Rapid growth of urbanization and the growth of population in urban areas mostly occur due to rural-urban migration—young and young adults are prone to migrate to the city/abroad for better career opportunities, resulting in an increase in the number of aged people in the rural areas.


In Bangladesh, the population above the age of sixty has reached over 7.2 million. The life expectancy is increasing on account of improved health care, education and technology. Senior citizens are becoming a subject of concern for the national planners dealing with socio-economic programs in Bangladesh.
Source: http://www.novartis.com.bd/news_current_CPD2008.html


A lot of people feel that the intolerance among young people coupled with their inability to adjust with the elderly may have also contributed to the soaring number of public and private old age homes in the country. Some blame it on the 21st century lifestyle and its demands; others feel that the past was never quite the golden age of happy families either—there was always this insurmountable gap between generations so much so that e.g. grandparents/parents and children ate(had dinner/lunch) at different times to avoid confrontations and conflicts.


But the extended family was always regarded as the amulet to ward off the ultimate horror of growing old alone. In its decline, the family’s potency has become even more mythical.

The families of the past do deserve some credit as they, regardless of miscommunications and repressed anger did take care of the elder family members. The modern family is suffering in doing so. Examples of the strains are manifesting themselves in the rising levels of elder abuse that ranges from confining the elders to a room with no one to speak to save the house helper to insults and negligence.


It is hard for the parents to adapt to these changes because Bangladeshi elders have always looked upon their children as an investment. They believe that taking care of their children when they were young, paying for their education, marriage etc give them the right to depend on them solely. This has given rise to a culture of dependency. You will see many elderly couples waiting on their sons for going to the bank, paying bills to doing day to day things. After a certain age, parents start depending on their children for emotional support as well—their happiness, sorrow, anger, frustration, aspirations and.. fate lie in the hands of their children.


Children who usually have to give in to the pressures and demands of the 21st century fail to cater to these needs…thus the birth of the mantra, “my children do not have enough time for me”. The traditional family structure has fallen prey to the inevitable changes that this century has dumped on us. Children cannot always manage the time or the effort that it takes to take care of elderly parents. The balance of power in the household has also changed over the years. The common scenario of a working class family would include a working couple, their children and the in-laws. The son and the daughter in law are usually the bread earners who are responsible for taking care of the parents. Which is another reason for parents to feel increasingly squeezed out of their home. It seems that the solution for many people these days (parents and children alike) is nursing homes/old age homes/retirement communities.


Many a time, children who do end up taking care of the parents, do so out of obligation, which can be very demeaning for the parents As a result quite a large number of elderly people choose to live in old age homes, where they think they can live in peace without being a burden to anyone. Thus the concept of old age home is gradually emerging as the most viable option among the senior members of society who are financially independent. While we Bangladeshis love to talk about family values, sadly, a considerable percentage of parents-children relationships of this era are mediated more by duty and less by love. Many senior citizens feel that these care facilities are the answer to some of life’s hard to swallow problems like insecurity, loneliness, negligence and lack of companionship.
Whatever the reason, the breakdown of the extended family has become the arch villain in the story of growing old in Bangladesh. The fear of growing old all alone has become a part of the cultural zeitgeist of the age.


Another point to note is that these old-age care facilities did not appear overnight, out of the void— they are the outcome of thorough research that has confirmed that these facilities have become a necessity in this age and time. Old age homes are very much a part of our lives now-- they aren’t some ‘western’ thing that has nothing to do with our culture where disrespecting the elders is a cardinal sin. Old age homes have stemmed from demand from children and parents alike, and there is no way one can deny that.


Having said that, a lot of elderly people also feel that old age homes or anyplace where they will be robbed off the opportunity to spend time with their children and grand children can never be a solution. And there are children who still believe in extended families and feel it is an honor to be able to take care of their parents. It is very hard to be judgmental when it comes to the concept of old age homes as different families function differently and we can never know what is good or bad for them unless we put ourselves in their shoes.